How do people fade? 

With time? Certainly not by death. For even in death many are remembered… Certainly not by life either. For in life, many stay regardless of time and space and sometimes, even in spite of themselves. I ask myself this and ponder. How some things can be like fire for a while and afterwards become nothing but smoke. Or a smoke screen. Life is a smoke screen I’ve heard. 

The Yorubas paint a near perfect picture when they compare life to a marketplace, where we all come to buy and sell and when we’re tired and done, we invariably have to return home. I find the sudden appearance on a scene puzzling at times, how we find ourselves in certain places, for instance, by the stand of a man selling cellos,g how we know we ought to be transacting fabrics but we are there, standing, watching, wanting… 

This happens a lot quite understandably. There are sights to be seen in life. But there’s a logic to buying and selling. Sociologists have an exchange theory that basically believes that everything in life is essentially driven by interest, cost and benefit, and this happens consciously and unconsciously, we are constantly calculating as humans, we decide if something would be beneficial to us and make our decisions based on that. Of course you might say oh that’s a selfish way to live, and you might argue that we don’t always know what might be beneficial in the long run. True, those are dynamics, it’s a theory and there are definitely other ways to see things. But I think this inherent ‘selfishness’ in man might not always a bad thing. I can trace it down to the desire to stay on course, to transact fabrics you could say, the moment you know it’s what you’re here for. There are sights to be seen, but we must not be carried away…also it might help to know when to stay or not. 

People have told me that I probably over think things. I want to know exactly where I’m going and how and what for. Sometimes though I make random decisions that I might end up being grateful for, other times there’s the feeling of a buyer’s remorse. In the end, how we choose to live out these days is a choice. Our philosophies and theories borne from different conditions might be starkingly different.  There’s no right or wrong way necessarily, I think there’s only our way. And we must understand what our way is so we won’t be lost. 

There are however self sacrificing points in life where we need to let go of our hedonistic tendencies and take on a nature other than our selves. And there are definitely moments to bungee jump. But in all this there’s the need for wisdom and for creating a balance. Like this, allow yourself some free time but also work when you should.

No mention shall be made of coral, or of pearls: for the price of wisdom is above rubies.

Shakespeare said “all the world is a stage… ” and Goffman’s dramaturgy explicates this theatrical way of life. The Yorubas too aptly talk about this, as I’m sure many cultures of the world do. 
So how do people fade? I think that’s a poetic question 🙂 … the real question we should ask is why?