At this point in my life, I am living alone is an ancient, brown-roof-studded city (Ibadan, Nigeria) because, NYSC*… and it’s really been a novel experience. This time has afforded me more opportunity to think and consider matters as much as I would love to and as much as time (and of course, sleep) allows.

Just this other day I was thinking about how we as humans lose ourselves. A pretty vague topic of thought, yeah? Well, I’d just learned of someone’s passing, no really, a number of people actually, in quick succession and it just got me thinking about that age-long question on the point of existence. Of course, I had no eureka moment of discovery or a philosophical breakpoint but as I remember, I was in this van that takes us around in my workplace and then I just looked out of the window and saw people trudging past each other, going about their day’s business not necessarily caring about the balance of some people’s worlds that just got tilted because they lost someone dear to them, and rightly so, as they had zero ideas about it. But isn’t it the case that every day we ourselves fade, we slowly lose ourselves in the very fabric of life itself. I honestly do not like the thought of that, and I must have stopped right at that point (also making a mental note to try to write about it), but really it is worth considering, because taking note of this slow decline of time on us does something remarkable I believe – it either gives you a sense of an ‘otherness’, something apart from this or it sets you straight on whatever path you are on.

The study of society makes us understand that as humans we really need each other to survive, to breathe…and no matter how individualistic one tends to be, there is still that search for succor, warmth, and understanding in other human beings, that way we try to hold each other for the time being (it’s divine providence that we are not alone in this and we have a billion other earth companions). So I think we do not necessarily have to lose ourselves simply by the passage of time, there are several ways of ‘immortalizing’ our existence, there are as many ways as there as people on earth, we only have to find out by ourselves which way to chose. But one beautiful way I see is by ‘losing’ oneself in other people or in things that have the ability to continue. Mary Elizabeth Frye puts her’s this way in a poem:

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

/footnotes/:

1. Artwork – Flower Power Mask (2017) by Wole Lagunju courtesy Ed Cross Fine Art
2. NYSC – acronym that stands for National Youth Service Corps – a mandatory one year program for Nigerian graduates (that I’m not exactly excited about)
3. I have decided to be sharing my favorite music videos/collection after certain posts I make, not sure how long this would be for, but we’ll enjoy it while it lasts. I got these videos from my brother (who likes to download a looot of music), my sister who likes to sing (which leaves me in a weird place of the one who just hangs around waiting to get) and of course the wonderful world of YOUTUBE suggestions! so here goes: Condolence by Benjamin Clementine
4. Benjamin Clementine is one weird human that YOUTUBE brought to my world and I think his music is art! This song seems to be about existentialism or reincarnation, I’m not so sure which, but enjoy! 🙂